Entering 2020 as an #SAPro: A New Decade to Reflect, Prioritize, and Unlearn

Someone recently asked me if I wrote New Year’s Resolutions and I genuinely answered: I used to, and not always, but since we’re entering a new decade — I’ll also be entering a very personal decade of my own in April which is also known as my 30s — I figured this was an opportune time to write something meaningful and reflective about 2019 and my last few months as a 20-something-year-old.

 

So in celebration of the year 2020, I’m writing about 20 ways or things I can do to be a better Student Affairs Professional (#SAPro), both for myself and for my colleagues. I will preface by saying that I don’t think what I’m about to say is groundbreaking or revolutionary, but it is a much needed reminder (and perhaps a call-to-action to do/be better) for all of us, especially with the liveliness and vibrancy that comes with a new semester, a new year, and a new decade. Here’s what I’m thinking – feel free to join in, challenge my thoughts, or keep me accountable:

#1: Use my “outside voice” more. My colleagues like to joke with me about using my outside voice when I’m in meetings. Remember when you were a kid and you had to use your inside voice or your six-inch voice? Well, that’s basically me year-round. I’ve come to internalize that inside voice mentality so much that I prefer to listen to others than to be heard. There are many times where I often silence myself because it’s easier to do than speaking out loud in a crowded room, it’s safer, or perhaps less exhausting to do than providing a counter narrative or argument, and it’s more intuitive to me as an INFJ who simply processes and strategizes simultaneously, but slowly. I’m not saying inside voices are bad, but I have yet to figure out how to better balance and switch between the two more seamlessly. I have a lot of things to say, trust me, but sometimes it’s just easier to formulate it in my head or write it out than it is to vocalize right then and there. In 2020, I’m committed to speaking my heart and my mind, and letting folks know how I feel and what I think about said topic.

#2: Support my Black colleagues. This was inspired by an article that I stumbled upon recently which is entitled, How To Survive a White Workplace. It talked about what it was like to be a Person of Color trying to navigate a white workplace and environment. For those who know me and who work with me at UVM, we are definitely navigating an environment and an institution that has been historically and predominantly white, and so there is a toll that that kind of environment has on one’s mind, body, and spirit. But back to Point #2, this isn’t about me, this is about my Black colleagues. As a non-Black Person of Color, I will always experience the world differently than my Black community members, especially given my identity as an Asian American. And those different experiences can come with some real trauma, pain, hurt, and/or forever-open-wounds. So in 2020, I’m refocusing my energies to call out anti-blackness when it manifests in the office or an email, to rally behind my Black colleagues to get that promotion or award or recognition for their work supporting students, to help amplify the voices of my Black colleagues when they are no longer being heard, when they themselves are too tired to hold up their microphone, or when they need that one moment of reprieve from the day-to-day grind.

And just as a kind reminder for those who need it, with a special thanks to the scholarship and insight of Dr. D-L Stewart, addressing issues of white supremacy or engaging in social justice work is not synonymous for combatting /rejecting anti-blackness. They are not one-in-the-same and should not be treated as such. As Dr. D-L Stewart writes, “Anti-Blackness hides within the rhetoric of inclusion, unexamined and unchecked, excluding and targeting Black people through ideologies of absence.” My expectation of myself in 2020 is simple: do better and be better for my Black colleagues and friends because I have to. #BlackLivesMatter

#3: Make time and space to reflect, examine, discuss, and counter white supremacist values, attitudes, behaviors, and dynamics that show up in the workplace. Something I try to do when I stumble upon an article relating to combatting/rejecting whiteness and white supremacy, is that I send it to a community of colleagues who I think will 1) benefit from reading the article; 2) engage in some intentional reflection and/or conversation about the article; and 3) will pause in their day-to-day musings to make time to read it and hopefully, be able to physically put a pause on their work that is already steeped in whiteness. I will send the article to my mentors, supervisors, and folks who I supervise in hopes that we can all work towards addressing and changing office culture, norms, and standards that perpetuate whiteness. As a program area staff, my colleagues and I talk about how whiteness might be showing up in our interactions with each other, in our emails, within our program area or department, at the lunch table, or in meetings, and we intentionally engage in conversation with one another to figure out what needs to be changed to resist and combat white supremacy.

For example, I think it’s important to name with the folks whom I supervise that there will be many times in which I choose to eat in my office, not to do more work over lunch, but because I need a moment to myself, to recharge my batteries as an introvert, and to give some time back to myself that is restorative and rejuvenating. I also let the same folks know that if they ever need to use my office (to have a private conversation or to close the door because the “shared space” is too noisy and unproductive), they are more than welcomed to do so. Having an open door policy is not just about keeping your door open and assuming that your staff knows what that means, but it is also about actively reminding and explaining to them that space, specifically a private space with an actual door, is hard to come by and that they can freely use it when I am not physically there having a meeting/conversation. So this year, and every day after that, I will continue to assess, challenge, and counter the ways in which whiteness exists within the physical, emotional, and mental energies that I am a part of.

#4: Make time and space to reflect, examine, discuss, and counter colonized ways of being and doing. In many of the professional spaces that I have been a part of, there is a call to action around decolonizing our mind, body, and spirits and uplifting indigenous ways of existing. ACPA, one of the professional associations that I am a part of, published a document titled the Strategic Imperative for Racial Justice & Decolonization. It offers a framework and a vision for how #SAPro can make change within higher education and student affairs, how we can center our lives and our work in combatting the racial inequities and injustices that stem from systems of racism, settler colonialism, and so much more.

Another article that was shared on my newsfeed was titled, Acknowledging the Winter Solstice is a Decolonial Act for Indigenous People. It mentions ways we can deepen our understanding and connection to nature, the Winter Solstice, and even our own cultural/community elders. The author mentions to “take what works for you from this list”, but in an act of decolonization, I’m hoping to challenge their readers and my own to borrow what you’ve learned here, and make sure you give credit to where credit is due. And yet, my hope is that we do not stop with simply borrowing these practices and consider it fine and dandy. Decolonization goes beyond simply achieving what is asked or expected of us. Land Acknowledgments can be powerful statements and commitments to the first people of the land, but if Student Affairs Professionals cannot even commit to memory the correct pronunciation (or names alone) of the tribes and indigenous communities that they are trying to promote, then are we really challenging settler colonial ideologies and practices? I don’t have all the answers and I don’t expect my colleagues to either, but what I do know is that we can’t settle for colonial frameworks and attitudes to decolonize themselves. We have to be ready to do the hard work ourselves, every single day.

#5: Use my vacation time and/or take some mental health days. You know those days that we get that are meant to give us some time off and be able to get away from our office and work emails? Yeah, those are called vacation days and sick time. I also know that paid time off is a privilege and is a luxury for some, especially if you’re starting out in a new job or you’re a graduate student yet you’re still a professional staff member somewhere on campus. If you do get paid time off, and when you have enough accumulated, I truly hope you use those days.

As someone who works in a functional area like Orientation, there really is no “downtime”. Every season has some sort of Orientation Program gearing up. And whether that’s online or in-person, there is still so much work to be done and there will always be more work that needs to be done no matter what. So my goal this year is to really find time to give back to myself. That one Friday in February, March, April, and May? Yeah, those are going to be mine and mine alone. You know those moments where I gotta go to the doctor because I’m sick? Yup, you bet I’m going to move around my schedule, cancel my meetings, and not feel guilty about getting the help I need. Not feel bad about taking a two-week vacation before AND after my busiest season? Sorry, not sorry. Can you imagine what that would look or feel like? Imagine all of that time, energy, and dedication that we place into our job and into our students, and imagine if we took 1 week or 1 day to redirect that energy back into our wellbeing?

Vacation time shouldn’t be scary and shouldn’t be an impossible feat. If it sounds daunting or unheard of, then I think we’re doing something wrong as a profession. Use your day(s). Ask for help. Physically get away from your office and your work laptop. Find the energy to make yourself a priority before someone else does.

#6: Get off campus more and/or at the very least, get out of my office every now and then. I am a firm advocate for making time to exist and be outside of the university setting, if and when possible. I know that I do my best work when I’m in a public setting like a coffee shop or a chill bar that has wifi, and I hope to be able to support my colleagues or supervisees who feel similarly. Whether it’s a full day or half day, I think it’s important to recognize that productivity doesn’t solely exist in the form of answering emails and phone calls in the office space. When was the last time you got out of your office, took a walk during your lunch break, had a meal downtown, grabbed a coffee with a friend or two off-campus, bathed in the sun for 10 minutes, or had uninterrupted time to plan for that big event happening six months from today? Hmm.. think about it and let me know. There is wonder and power that exists out of the comforts of our desktop monitor and office chair.

#7: Show up for my colleagues of Color. And make sure they do the same for you. After being at UVM for almost six years now, the importance of community has been more apparent than ever. I truly do not believe I would have survived — and I use survive willfully and intentionally, with every syllable and consonant of that word emphasizing the harsh realities that racism has on the soul and spirit — working at UVM without the community of Color that exists here. They are all so damn brilliant, compassionate, giving, selfless, and dope. But I should name that this brilliance and excellence isn’t boundless, that every gathering, although meaningful, powerful, and beautiful, can be exhausting, tiring, and draining. With that being said, I hope to show up for my colleagues of Color in all of the beautiful and vast ways that exist: to support them in their side hustles and businesses (get your pictures taken by Isora Lithgow Creations and order your pickled veggies from @piklizbyfifi aka the Ferene Paris Meyer), to attend the divisional events literally created for and by People of Color at the university, and to affirm, celebrate, and acknowledge the diversity and dopeness that exists within our very own fingertips.

#8: Give myself grace when making a mistake or missing a deadline, and practice giving gratitude for the learning opportunity that comes with it. We make mistakes, it’s only human/natural. I know I have made a slew of mistakes since taking on this role as Director of Orientation. As an annoying overachiever and glass-half-full kind of guy, however, it’s not easy to grant myself that grace, patience, or understanding. I’m hoping to change that mindset and process in 2020 and would appreciate the affirmation and accountability.

#9: Celebrate yourself and your achievements, both small and large, every single day. And don’t be shy about it. This intention is so very hard for me. I think culturally, I want to be able to make my parents and my relatives proud of my success, but I don’t ever want my success to be something that becomes a tool for showboating or keeping others down. Why work so hard to only let it be fuel to feed egos and pride? What good is success when it doesn’t better your community? Coming to terms for why I want to share my successes and achievements has been a journey and is still a process. I want to be able to show others who look like me that there is a place for them at institutions of higher education; that young professionals of Color are brilliant, bold, and talented; that queer brown bodies can exist within the academy and be successful; that there are faces amongst institutional leadership that are queer, radical, brown, gay, Asian, educated, and powerful.

In hopes of getting better to practice acknowledging myself and celebrating my successes, here are a few things that I’ve done that mean a lot to me although I might not have talked or posted about it: a) received the Outstanding New Orientation, Transition, and Retention (OTR) Professional Award both at the 2019 Regional Conference and at the Annual NODA Conference; b) accepted to join the New Leaders Council of Vermont as a 2020 Fellow; c) joined the Orange Theory Fitness community here in Burlington, VT and have been attending classes for the last four months and have genuinely enjoyed every hour getting stronger and badder; and d) completed by first year and summer as Director of the Orientation Program at UVM, especially with the myriad of (sometimes last-minute) changes that took place such as having two welcomes, incorporating Learning Communities into the schedule, involvement of institutional leadership at the Welcome, buildings offline for conferences and/or construction, and so much more. Ya’ll, 2019 has been a year but I have gotten so much stronger, braver, and wiser with each passing day.

#10: Be an advocate for the younger, newer, or aspiring Student Affairs professionals. Advocate for them fiercely. Celebrate them intentionally. As a profession, we do one hell-of-a-job at “performing”. We sometimes falsely demonstrate to our supervisees, mentees, or student leaders that our job is the end-all-be-all, that it’s the best-of-the-best career paths to choose from, and that it’s the most nurturing, wholesome, and genuine. And in reality, that’s not always the truth. Our job takes dedication, time, energy, and resilience; it requires countless hours of sacrifice (maybe too much sacrifice) and prioritization. It is both demanding and meaningful, and not always the most understanding or forgiving. But in 2020, my hope is to challenge that perception and awareness. Our job literally makes a difference in the lives of our students, but if we don’t prioritize or tread carefully, it can be all too consuming. It is a career path that constantly asks and requires us to give. It is a field that encourages balance and wellbeing, but does not have the structural mechanisms in place, or even the courage, to do so. Thus, I want to make sure our newer and aspiring #SAPro know exactly what they’re signing up if they choose to pursue this path. I want them to know the beauty of our work while maintaining the beauty of their lives.

Breaking these unhealthy patterns and perceptions starts with us as current full-time professionals in these roles. We have to role model new ways of being and doing that do not perpetuate these institutionalized practices and attitudes of burnout, self-sacrifice, and busyness. We have to unlearn what we were taught as graduate students or student leaders in hopes that we can pave a new road for younger generations to follow, a road that is more sustainable, more humane, and more just. Our actions and our words as #SAPro carry weight, meaning, and impact. We have to engage in constant reflection, be able to disrupt unhealthy norms and expectations, and be the fiercest advocate for the younger, newer, and aspiring educators under our supervision.

This is also not solely about undergraduate student leaders, but the graduate students who are entrusted to us for mentorship, guidance, and growth. Our Graduate Students have some amazing ideas, interests, and passions. How are we letting them demonstrate those ideas, interests, or passions? How are we creating space for them to dream, innovate, and create? How are we acknowledging them as professionals, like those of us who hold full-time professional roles, and not simply just graduate students? How are we recognizing the very people who will carry on after us, bringing with them their talents, time, and intentionality? My hope is that folks who work with me have the opportunity to live up to their values and abilities, and be able to contribute to the longevity and wellbeing of the field. And in return, I can celebrate them with gusto and gratitude.

#11: Maintain your boundaries between work and your wellbeing. Don’t let someone else prioritize your life. After reading Essentialism, this piece of setting up boundaries, creating buffer space, filtering out the chaos, and managing expectations was just a pleasant reminder of what I’ve already been doing. Take the email off of your phone. Don’t check your email well after work hours. Use the holiday break to finally catch a break. If it’s urgent, folks know how to get ahold of you in ways that don’t require needing to be tied to your phone or computer 24/7.

#12: Discover more ways to find joy, gratitude, and meaning in your job. You don’t have to love it (it being your job). And you don’t have to stay if none of the things you’re needing from it exist anymore. Give yourself permission to leave when things are toxic, and stay when things align with your current values, attitudes, and thoughts. You don’t always have to be a Student Affairs Professional first, friend. It doesn’t have to be your only identity. It can co-exist amongst your many interests, passions, and desires. Don’t forget that. So use 2020 as an opportunity to create more meaningful moments, experience the joy and light that radiates from your student leaders and staff, and welcome the wholesome and ferocious sounds of laughter back into your life.

#13: Trust. Your. Guts. Your instincts have never failed you and they’re not going to now. Remember that you have your own way of being and doing, which will very well be different than that of your supervisor or colleague. Trust yourself to make not necessarily the “right” decision, but the decision that most closely aligns with your values and who you are. Your instincts are just little walkie-talkie devices that exist within you, placed by your ancestors for when you’re in need of guidance. Listen to them. Listen to you. With love, Eric Gerona Carnaje.

#14: Delegate is a verb and should be used as such. Delegate when you have the opportunity to do so. Remember, E, you don’t have to do everything by yourself. You literally have the most amazing team to support you in some of your hardest moments. Trust in your village, allow them to be a pillar of your foundation, and know that they will catch you when you fall. In general, I have trouble in delegating, mainly because trusting in others to do something that “meets my expectations and standards” is quite a difficult feat. I am picky about anything that remotely has my name attached to it. My eye for symmetry and aesthetics is sometimes overwhelming. And I have such a distinct vision and voice in my head that it’s hard for me to be okay with things that don’t match what I initially pictured. But I am hoping in 2020 to learn to let go of white perfectionism, realize that my A+ work is simply beyond human understanding, trust in my teammates and all of the brilliance and talent that they bring with them, and be content with getting things done, simply so I can focus on the next task that needs my more immediate attention.

#15: Allow yourself to feel and to express those feelings. I’m still learning how to and what it means to express myself within the workplace. Not just the moments of joy, success, and laughter, but also the experiences that bring about feelings of anger, shame, disappointment, frustration, and hurt. I’m typically a very reserved or refined person. I don’t usually wear my emotions on my sleeves. I like to think I manage my emotions well, perhaps a little too well. I’ve been told by folks (close friends, supervisors, colleagues, and mentors) that I can be so poised and put-together in some spaces that it’s hard for them to know what I’m actually thinking or feeling. I’m still in the process of unlearning some of the cultural cues I grew up with as a Filipino American man and I’m still figuring out which people are (trust)worthy of my anger, my passion, and my frustration as a young, queer, brown, person of Color. In 2019, my mantra was: your fire is your most powerful tool. In 2020, I want to learn how to better use, control, manage, and share my flame with others.

#16: Stop with the multitasking. Be present in meetings and stop using those meetings to play catch up for the next meeting. Easier said than done, I know, and I will likely get some not-so-supportive words from my colleagues about this, but I do deeply believe in this. As Essentialism mentioned in one of its chapters, multitasking exists, and we as SA Professionals are actually really good at doing so, but what we aren’t good at is multi-focusing. And just because we’re good at it, doesn’t mean it’s the best, right, or most appropriate approach to doing our work. If the source of our multitasking in other meetings is the fact that we don’t have time in our day to do the work (because of all these damn back-to-back meetings), then that’s a sign that something is systematically wrong and requires intentional reflection, evaluation, and adaptation. It could be because of what we’ve been taught or told by mentors about how we should be using our time, it could be the manifestation of a toxic office or departmental culture that requires complete access and control to our calendars, it could be due to our own personal values or attitudes in which busy days translates to feelings of productivity and worth.

Whatever the case may be, the fact exists that there is a toxic culture of busyness and a colonized perspective on time that is detrimental to the wellbeing and success of Student Affairs Professionals. So what are we to do about this? What will you choose to do with your time in 2020? How will you protect yourself from the fatigue and exhaustion that comes from multitasking?

#17: Enjoy the process. It’s not always about the final outcome, but sometimes it’s about the process and the path you took to get there. I believe that it’s important to stop and smell the roses every now and then. We, in higher education, are so driven by results and the need to produce something of merit and worth that we focus on crossing the marathon’s finish line before we even buy the appropriate running shoes. This level of forced productivity and performance is stifling and constricting, both as professionals and as human beings.

This becomes most relevant to me in terms of managing an entire Orientation Program. In the spring semester, my team and I are literally running this 26.2 mile marathon from January to July. I have some fond memories of all of the teams I’ve been able to work with, but I also know that I tend to sprint ahead and look forward to the final session, the last day of our program, the moment my staff and I leave our summer homebase. What would it look like if you stopped rushing to get to the end, and found time to be present with yourself and your team? What if we turned off our iPhones during the dinner hour and focused on being in conversation with some of your favorite people? This summer, I’m hoping to stick around a little longer, not to work or answer emails, but to create opportunities for more laughter, for new adventures, for those stories shared over a bonfire, and much, much more.

#18: The advice that you give to your students is some damn good advice for yourself. I find myself experiencing this a lot. Student A comes into my office, we have a dope, meaningful conversation. I make a point to challenge them to think a little more critically, intentionally, and humanely. Student A leaves and I’m left feeling good about our conversation. And then I think, “Damn, E, did you hear yourself just now? You should really take your own advice and do X, Y, and Z.” Anyone else experience this? It’s sometimes easier for me to lookout and care for the people in my immediate circle than it is to care for myself. I know, yall, I got some work to do on self-love and self-care, and this is me acknowledging that I want to do and be better in 2020.

#19: Take the first 15 minutes of every morning for yourself. There are some rituals or practices that I do, almost daily, that help ground me either in the moment or for the day so why not apply that same approach to the work life? Imagine what it would feel like to start out your day with a song that you love to listen to, a video from Ellen that always makes you cry tears of joy, take a few deep breaths before you tackle your inbox, or intentionally wake up your five senses so they are ready to experience the day with you. Rather than jump right into your 1:1 meeting or managing your never-ending to-do list, give yourself some time and space to be rather than do. We are human beings, after all, and not human doings.

#20: Vent and move on. Leave work at work, when possible. My hope here is to not let work consume me and my wellbeing, or takeover my ability to exist and deepen connections with friends. I’ve experienced this first hand, whether it was in my dating life or with close friends, that somehow we always find ourselves talking about work: the good, the bad, the present, the future, and back to the bad. We let work be the priority of our conversations, and we forget that we hold other identities and experiences that are worth talking about and connecting over.

To my colleagues working within higher education and student affairs, I know ya’ll know what I’m talking about because we are all so very guilty of this. This is nothing new for folks in our field. The ability to connect with each other because of shared struggles or challenging experiences in the office/department/division. The need to vent and seek advice from trustworthy individuals who support us, affirm us, and care for us. The gratitude we have for colleagues who are understanding the nature of our work, the grind that exists year-round, the relatable #SAPro moments that come up, but don’t need an inexhaustible amount of explanation because these folks simply just get it.

So my hope for myself, and for all of us, is to talk about what needs to be talked about. Give yourself a few minutes to catch up on that work life, use each other as sounding boards and helpful resources, and then let it go. Move on from that conversation when it’s appropriate to. Bring up something else to talk about that’s not about clearing out your emails, difficult one-on-one meetings, or the new office gossip. Instead, ask each other about family or chosen family, the most recent video that either made them laugh ferociously or cry fiercely, how each of you are doing on practicing mindfulness and wellbeing, if they picked up a new hobby or passion project, and well, the list goes on. There’s such a deep pool of topics to talk about that do not need to center the work we do every single day. Instead, let us center our humanity, our joy, our culture, our values, our hxstory, and our hopes.

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And there you have it. The 20 ways I hope to be a better Student Affairs Professional in 2020. If you’ve made it this far and managed to get through all 20 things and explanations, I salute you, my friend. Whether or not you’re a Student Affairs Professional, I do hope you find some joy, meaning, and/or truth in some or all of the points above. You might be a nurse, an accountant, a program designer, a city planner, retired, a stay-at-home dad, or literally anything else, and I truly believe there is more work for us to do and believe in, if we want to create a kinder and more inclusive tomorrow.

Which of the 20 ways resonates with you the most? And which one(s) will you try to incorporate into your work (as an #SAPro)?

You don’t have to be like me, an overachiever, and try and tick off every single one on the list. I, myself, don’t think it’s going to be an easy journey, but remember, it’s about enjoying the process (point #17). Do what you can, when you can, with what you have. Challenge yourself to make one or some of these a priority. Come back to them when you need a humble reminder or something to keep you grounded. Look out for yourself and for each other. Give yourself grace, grant yourself patience, and show yourself some love. We are in this together.

Cheers to doing better, being better, and knowing better.